This post is inspired by the post over on Strollerderby about Antepartum Depression http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2007/08/10/antepartum-depression-not-every-pregnant-woman-glows.aspx (Sorry I still don't know how to embed links...I'm still new at this blogging thing)
Let me just say this
“I HATED BEING PREGNANT”
There were two factors I believe responsible for this terrible pregnancy experience. First my own body and second my husband at the time.
Before I got prego, I was on a bunch of drugs, antidepressants and stimulants for ADD. All of which I just stopped taking when I found out I was in a family way. To top it off I was a smoker so I quit that cold turkey too!!
You can just imagine all that plus the raging pregnancy hormones!!!! Talk about a nightmare.
My OB was pissed when I told him I had stopped taking all the meds.
I had one thing to say to that
“Can you show me the studies that have been done that prove with no doubt that continuing to take those meds would do absolutely NO HARM to my baby?”
My OB responded “There have never been studies done on pregnant women about the dangers of taking antidepressants or stimulants…that would be highly unethical.”
“OK so problem solved…no proof…no meds….sorry Doctor D you’re gonna have to deal with a raving, withdrawing lunatic for the next 10 months.”
Just as a side note: I am a doctors worst patient because I don’t take what they say as gospel and I believe in, and work very hard at, being my own advocate…They don’t particularly like that…but that is just me…I am educated, I work in health care and if doesn’t sit right with me I am not going to do it!!!
In addition to these things, I was uncomfortably huge, pregnant in the summer time, couldn’t get cool no matter what I tried. Three months into the whole ordeal I was over it, I wanted my body back, I wanted to sit on the beach with a cigarette and a beer and not have to worry about anything. I wasn’t high risk, I never got sick. In fact, the first and only time I threw up was when the anesthesiologist gave me the heavy epidural to do my c-section. Kinda funny I puked grape Popsicle and ice chips all over him LOL.
I hated being pregnant so much that I was begging my doctor to tie my tubes while he was in there just so it wouldn’t happen again. He said NO
The other factor… my husband at the time: HE WAS A DICK!!! This is why we are not married anymore. He drank too much…when he did come home he stank… Used drugs…in fact when I was bout 7 months pregnant I came down stairs to find my idiot husband and his retarded friends cutting lines of coke on my dining room table at 4 AM. Everyone including my husband felt the wrath of a 200 pound whale flipping their coked out asses out the door. This behavior continued after the baby was born…he would go out on a Friday night and not come home until Sunday…binge drinking and druggin his life away…WITH A F*&%$#G NEWBORN AT HOME. He was just generally unsupportive through out the pregnancy and afterwards. In fact I can safely say that most of the reason why I wasn’t as successful with breastfeeding was mainly his fault….he would pick fights with me while I was trying to breastfeed in those first few weeks….yeah I know…a dick right!!!
All of the stress during pregnancy, I have been told have some adverse effects on the babies. Effects such as hearing loss and speech delays. Raisin Boy was speech delayed but is fine now, very smart, clever and as headstrong as his parents.
Now would I have enjoyed pregnancy a little bit more had all these things been different? Maybe, but doubtful. Do I want to do it again…not really. Would I do it again with the right person…wouldn’t be my first choice of ways to have more kids…But I guess so.